Modern Dating
Dating is tougher now compared to in the past because it is hard to stand out in a bigger pool of options. The globalised dating scene also offers multiple opportunities and possibilities.
Before proceeding, make sure that getting married and settled down is what you want before dating. If that is not your end goal, then don't date. It will save you and the involved party the heartbreak and time.
To avoid being overwhelmed by the paradox of choice, one should firstly mind your own lane. Stop comparing yourself to others or getting pressured into doing activities you are uncomfortable with to build a certain attractive persona. There are charming and deceitful people out there who will go all out to achieve their selfish gains. Some may even lie about their beliefs to develop their reputation and gain your trust. Keep your eyes wide open and observe if what they do matches what they say. Lies do not build trust.
1. Be comfortable with yourself. Work on embracing singlehood and acknowledge your own feelings of loneliness. Understand that it is normal to feel lonely. Humans are made to be social, after all. Work on building your self-confidence and esteem by improving your health and communication skills. When you perform at your best self, your confidence and strengths will shine.
2. Know your limits and boundaries. No two people are alike and share the exact set of values. Don't date someone for their potential but only because you accept who they are at present. Don't expect your partner to change who they are for you. If they wanted to change, they would have. Relationships require compromise and if you do end up in a long-term relationship, ask yourself if you can accept their current behaviour and habits in the long run. Make sure that your date has already reached stage 1 (being comfortable with themselves) before committing yourself to them. If they are not comfortable with themselves, they may be inwardly overcompensating, possessive or clingy/needy, which you may later discover. Also, appearances will fade over time so if you can't accept that, let the other person go and find someone who would better appreciate them for their inner qualities.
3. Appreciate the person you choose and enjoy your time together. The right person will stay with you through thick and thin. Just as fairweather friends come and go, you may experience break-ups and fall-outs. That is normal and okay. It just means that that person may not be suitable for you. However, if everything seems smooth-sailing and you and your partner have never had an argument once, it is likely one of you is overcompensating and bottling up uncertainties. Eventually, one of you might reach breaking point. Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship since you are two distinct individuals. How you problem solve together will determine whether you last as a couple or break up.
4. Pray unceasingly and support your partner.
Although we don't expect our partners to change much from their instinctive habits, people do change throughout their lives as they enter new life phases. Your influence in their life may also change them for better or worse. Be the positive influence in their lives. If you or your partner become verbally or physically abusive toward each other, either repair the relationship through wise counsel or break up.
End Goal - Marriage
From a conservative Christian point of view, God's instruction for monogamy is clear in the bible. As far as open relationships are concerned, those involved in such relationships either value their freedom over their partner or just want an excuse to enjoy the best of both worlds. It doesn't offer security to the party who gets emotionally attached to the other and intends to settle down eventually. Do not wander into dead ends.
Related reading:
https://thir.st/blog/5-things-i-didnt-realise-until-i-got-married/
Just my two cents' worth.
